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Haiku

Wed Dec 30, 2009, 1:59 AM
Sweet scent like flowers/Pleasant like a rainy day/Soft caress of heaven

Lilies floating calm/Light sound of copper windchimes/Warm light of the Sun

Silence from the tongue/Sound actually ceases/Breeding lies in smoke

Bashful and bright blush/Heartbeat like a tiny drum/Naked mind and form

  • Mood: Daily Needs

Really?

Journal Entry: Sat Nov 28, 2009, 11:31 PM


I shouldn't be surprised you are still lurking around here. How many people every day say they are going to leave here, only to return hours or days later? Who knows how long you have been slinking around behind the scenes. It would help your cause by hiding your activity, though. By the way, I took you off of my block list, since unlike you, I don't have a vendetta. You're probably still mad about that incident, even though I was the level-headed individual in the matter and not slinging around words like ';pervert'. Thanks for the vote of confidence on that one. I tried being nice while standing my ground and even after a couple of months, I was still level-headed in offering the olive branch.

You and the other seem to have hating me down to an art form, when I never did anything to deserve that scorn. Well, a little bit with the other, I did. But, in that case, I told her what I needed to say. The words that I directed towards others, instead of where it needed to go. I've even forgiven her, when I really didn't need to. Not much point in holding huge grudges, since the old man is now dead and the banner I carried for the fight against his tyranny is no longer necessary. You two girls just see fit to carry the banner against me, though; you, especially. You seem to do that to any man that has ever wronged you in any way, I noticed. Even if the wrongs were actually that or just something you perceived to be that way. You turned out to be a complicated person that defied the cool exterior you portrayed online. Quite vulnerable and young on the inside, letting simple things break you down. It was quite surprising, along with your rather bad habit of taking things to heart that weren't meant as a slight.

Hell, that's what ended our friendship. You thinking I meant something that wasn't even close to what the reality was. At least there was something there that was tangible for the rift; the other didn't even have the guts to provide a shred of honesty. Just a lot of hack answers and hidden slander, all combined with third-party information. It wouldn't have hurt less to get the truth, but it would've helped me sleep at night. And funny that the other was the reason why I made the post that helped us meet. Funny how that works out.

  • Mood: Stumped
  • Listening to: Orchestral Manoeuvres In The Dark - Electricity

Man...

Fri Apr 24, 2009, 12:49 AM
  • Mood: Longing
  • Listening to: ZZ Top - I'm Bad, I'm Nationwide
  • Watching: Inazuman
  • Playing: Fallout 3
  • Drinking: Dr. Pepper
I remember when I had a ton of journal entries here. Some good ones, some ones of my dark times, some where I just complained like a bitch for several paragraphs. Not much for wasting energy on the latter these days. Why did I delete them? Well, I planned on leaving dA at some point last year, due to a rather bizarre incident. Let's just say this: some people just don't like having some things pointed out, even when you aren't even saying it is true. They were a friend to me, but all it took was a few words for it all to come crashing down and have them turn on me. It hurt; it doesn't much anymore, but it did then. And I kind of miss having them around, though they may not even be in the state anymore. I don't have a clue, since I haven't bothered looking. Dwelling in the past is something I've been getting better at not doing.

What the future has in store for me, I have no idea. There are inklings of what may come down the pipeline; one, in particular, brings a smile to my face every time. The very thought of it is a bright light shining through the clouds, warming like the hug of a loved one. When and how this will come to complete fruition, I can't say for sure. But, just knowing it is there waiting in the wings, is a comfort. Everything else continues on as it tends to do. Loved ones continue to be important, old friends return to nesting grounds of what seems to be a past life and the grind of reality chips away at my armor, but can't quite penetrate it. God, how it can hurt, but I try to remain upright for as long as I can. The pull of a far-away place can be felt, but it is unclear if that is the correct path. But, what is really correct in this world? That definition changes often.

Enough of that vague shit. I'm doing okay, for all that care. All I really need right now is a shave and a shower. Hmm, not a bad idea at all.

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